Acharya Prashant : Companionship is wonderful. Be with one person, ten persons, anybody who helps your mind be centred. Being with such a person or a group of persons is wonderful. If marriage is another name for beautiful companionship, marriage is wonderful.
But, what matters is not the social institution of marriage, but the fact that you are with someone. And when you are with someone, the presence of that someone will necessarily have an effect upon you and vice-versa. You must know the effect that the other’s presence has upon you. If someone’s presence has a becalming effect on your mind, soothing effect on your mind, illuminating effect on your mind, liberating effect on your mind, go ahead. Boldly be with that person or persons as much as you want to.
But be with them only as long as their effect upon you is liberating. And be with them only as long as you do not become dependent on them, neither do they become dependent on you. It has to be a mutually healthy relationship. Not a relationship in which you enter because of sexuality or loneliness or social pressure.
You already have enough troubles, right?
You don’t want to invite another trouble into your house, into your bedroom, do you?
But yes, if someone can bring joy and truth to you, invite them right into your heart. And then marriage is inconsequential. With the right person, you marry, wonderful, you don’t marry, wonderful. And with the wrong person, you marry, bad luck, you don’t marry, bad luck.
What do you think?
Only married people have troubles?
You might be single, you might be a bachelor, and still you may have very bad company. And then you are equally troubled as a husband, as a wife. It’s not the matter of being in the institution. The question is what brings you into that institution.
Look around.
See why people marry.
Do they marry because it’s an affirmation of their divine love? Is that how is happens? Seriously?
In our country most people marry because that is sometimes the only way of getting some good sex, good and assured sex. Otherwise, the fellow would either have to spend a lot of money or a lot of time or both, and may then still return empty-handed. Isn’t that so?
Now, if one marries for such a reason or many other prevalent reasons, ‘I will have someone to look after me when I get old. Mumma needs someone to share her daily chores. Grandpa is very fond of kids. All my friends have married, now I have nobody to watch the movies with. They don’t take me along. I’ll feel like a left out if I am a single. These days they don’t allow me entry into night clubs and pubs. Stag entry is expensive!’
If these are your reasons, you look at your mind, sort out your mind and with a sorted mind whatever you do, would be right. There have been liberated ones who have married. And there have been liberated ones who haven’t married. It doesn’t matter. What matters is liberation.
If you are sorted and liberated go ahead and do whatever you want to, and if you aren’t sorted and liberated, whatever you do would be wrong.
~ Acharya Prashant speaking at Free Hearts Camp on 17th February, 2018 at Rishikesh, Uttarakhand.
